


Heads of State

by RockSunner



Category: Oz - L. Frank Baum
Genre: Fantasy, Gen, Heads, Humor, Intrigue, Magic, Political Alliances, Vanity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-20 15:38:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11923971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockSunner/pseuds/RockSunner
Summary: After the end of "Ozma of Oz," Princess Langwidere finds herself in political difficulties. Will she be forced to return her beautiful head collection? Characters are from the Oz series by L. Frank Baum and Ruth Plumly Thompson.





	1. Heads Up

Princess Langwidere was in her easy chair in mirrored sitting-room, indulging in her favorite pastimes of looking at her reflections in the mirrored walls and playing the mandolin. She was good with the instrument and could play herself soothing music automatically, without having to think about it. And of course, seeing her face in the mirrors was also soothing. At this moment, it was the sultry blond face of head number six.

Her maid, Nanda, entered with a flustered expression. "Your Highness, I'm very sorry to disturb you..."

"You should be," interrupted Langwidere. "What is it that is so important?"

"Your Highness, a delegation of Ev citizens are petitioning our new king, His Majesty King Evardo XV, to require you to give back your collection of heads to their original owners."

"What? How dare they ask such a thing? I have express permission from the former Queen to retain my precious cabinet of thirty heads for as long as I live. They should be whipped for their insolence to royalty."

"Some say the new king seems inclined to grant their petition," said Nanda.

"Not if I can stop him," said Langwidere. "Help me to rise, I will put on my most persuasive face and go to the dowager Queen at once."

Nanda braced herself and allowed Langwidere to pull herself up by gripping her arm. Langwidere al ways did this even though she was much stronger than the little maid.

In her cabinet of heads, Langwidere made a careful selection, settling on her head 22 for its curly brown hair and her best puppy-dog expression.

She strode angrily to the other end of the corridor where the Queen had her apartments.

"Heads will roll for this insult," Langwidere thought.


	2. Head Start

Princess Langwidere knocked on the door of the Queen dowager's private suite.

"What is it?" inquired one of the Queen's ladies in waiting who answered the door.

"I must see the Queen at once," said Langwidere. "It's extremely important."

"I'll see if she's available," said the lady in waiting.

"I said at once," said Langwidere, pushing past her. "Your Highness!"

"Yes, what is it?" came the voice of the Queen from the other room.

Langwidere charged in. "Your Highness, you promised that I could keep my collection of heads as long as I lived. Now I hear that the King may not allow it. How can you let your word to me be broken?"

"When I granted you that, I didn't realize there were living women who had been deprived of their heads for your sake. I assumed the heads were all created by magic," said the Queen.

"I would never stoop to wearing artificial heads," said Langwidere. "Mine are perfectly natural, all of them."

"You didn't have anyone killed to get them?"

"No, I would never do that. They all have working replacements from Smith and Tinker that allow them to speak, eat, and so on."

"The rescue party from Oz that saved us from slavery to the Nome King included the Emperor of the Winkies. He told us how he had replaced his body, part by part with tin, including his head. But that was in Oz; they have immortality there. We don't, or Evoldo would never have sold his wife and children for a long life."

"Magic was involved, and it wasn't my idea originally." said Langwidere. "There was a clever young witch named Noir..."

"I may have heard of her," said the Queen. "There was some kind of plot against the King, wasn't there?"

"I'm getting to that. Noir studied monsters called Scoodlers, who live to the south on the other side of Oz, hideous creatures that eat people. They can take off their own heads to throw them as weapons, and take them back with no harm to themselves."

"Horrible!"

"Yes, but Noir turned it into something marvelous. She constructed a set of thirty cabinets, and in their presence a woman can take off her head and exchange it for another. She gathered a group of five other women. They used head-swapping as a secret ritual to bind themselves in a pact of loyalty, a coven of friendship and magic."

"If it was a deep secret, how did you learn of it?" asked the Queen.

"One of them was very outgoing, a redhead named Rose. She offered me a membership, and the others agreed that a royal relation might be useful. I met them all: studious Noir, party-girl Rose, farm-girl Dale, shy Violet, athletic Iris, and fashionable Velvet. But when I realized that they might be trying to build up power to overthrow the throne, I told King Evoldo," said Langwidere.

"It's surprising they were not executed," said the Queen.

"I begged for their lives," said Langwidere.

"That was merciful of you," said the Queen.

"I was afraid that if they died, their heads would also die and decay," said Langwidere. "At my request, the King ordered replacement heads for them from Smith and Tinker. I was given all the original heads as my reward, the first six in my collection. After that, I found more and more. Some were rebels and criminals, others simply could not refuse my royal prerogative to take what I liked."

"Were the replacement heads attractive?"

"Not really, but they didn't need to face the public anymore, because the King had them all locked up in his dungeons."

"Velvet's family connections are quite influential, and so are many of the others. The families have started a petition for the restoration of the heads. Most of the public has joined their cause and it's very difficult... our new King wants to be popular."

"They cannot have them! What would I do without my heads?"

"You could go back to your own original head."

"I discarded that thing long ago. The hair was showing slight traces of gray."

"You could take one of the replacement heads for yourself."

"That would be an outrage, not only to myself but to the dignity of the royal family. I could never appear in public again."

"There's nothing I can do."

"You promised me!"

"I wasn't aware there were original owners when I said that. And I no longer have power. It's in the hands of the King."

"He's your son. You must use your influence on him."

"I will not undermine the authority of my son. You will have to petition him directly. But take care. You must realize you are most unpopular. People remember how you ruled, and they are not happy."

"I did the best I could to hold the throne in the absence of the royal family. I never wanted to rule, but I had to. I spent ten minutes of my precious time every day on affairs of state."

The Queen looked stern. "From what I hear it was not good enough."

Langwidere turned on her most sad, persuasive expression. "Please!"

"No, it's out of my hands. I can do nothing for you."

"Then I'll find someone who can," said Langwidere, stalking out of the room with determination.


	3. Air Head

Langwidere went back to her room to pick out a new head and plot her next move. Talking to the former Queen had failed. It might be better to appeal to the new King through his younger brothers: Evrob, Evington, Evroland, and Evring. Or his sisters: Evanna, Evrose, Evella, Evirene, and Evedna.

Which of her heads was best with children? The first head, the one she had acquired from the head-swapping club. Silly, fun-loving, pinkish-red-haired Rose would do.

She took Head #1 from the cabinet and tried it on. The hair was a little too bushy and curly. She spent a few minutes combing it, but then decided it would do just fine for talking with children.

She went to the suite of the princesses first and knocked on the door.

"Hi!" she called. "This is your cousin, Princesses Langwidere. Wanna play?"

"We're busy," called the oldest, Evanna.

"We're playing dress-up," said Evedna, the youngest.

Languidere pushed the door open a crack. "I like to play dress-up, too, But I dress up by changing heads."

"Eww," said Evella. "That's kind of weird,"

"It's fun," said Langwidere, She couldn't help being cheerful with this head. "But some awful people are trying to take them all away from me. I need you to help me persuade King Evardo not to let them do it."

"I don't want to," said Evanna. "It's none of my business."

"Me neither," said Evirene.

"I'll even let you girls play with them. You can wear the ones I don't like as much any more, like Head #24."

"No, thank you," said Evanna. She motioned to a lady in waiting, who shut the door firmly in Langwidere's face.

* * *

Langwidere decided to be less direct in her approach to the boys. She would try to persuade the youngest, Evring. She found him alone in a courtyard, playing with a rubber ball.

"Hi Evring," she said with a grin. "I'm your cousin, Princess Langwidere."

"Hi," said Evring.

"How are you doing? Wasn't that a great adventure, getting rescued from the Nome King?"

"Dorothy saved me from being a purple kitten," said Evring. "She made a lucky guess. Then her chicken snooped on King Roquat and learned the secret to finding all the rest who were turned into ornaments."

"Was it strange being a kitten ornament? I think it would be sort of boring," said Langwidere.

"I don't remember anything about that part," said Evring. "But there were some scary things after that. The Nome King got really mad when the chicken saved everyone. He set his guards on us, but Dorothy and her lion and tiger protected me."

"Wow," said Langwidere. "That's exciting. Dorothy really something, isn't she?"

Langwidere had her own unpleasant encounter with Dorothy and her hen Billina, but her happy-go-lucky head helped her to stay positive.

"Dorothy saved us all when Roquat got really mad and threatened to kill us. She took off his magic belt when he was distracted by an egg the Scarecrow threw at his face."

"I heard something about that belt. Is it really powerful?"

"Yes, it opened the passage to get us out of there. Then when Roquat sent his army after us, she turned some of the Nomes in front into eggs. That made the rest run."

"Did she ever turn them back? That's like killing them."

"No, but they were soldiers sent to kill us, so I guess it was all right."

"Everyone got out safely?"

"All but the Tin Woodman. They thought he was lost forever, but it turned out he was a whistle I had taken to play with. A green tin pig whistle I really liked. When they turned him back they promised me another whistle, but they forgot."

"I'll tell you what. I'll get you another whistle, a lot more whistles, if you'll do something for me."

"Okay, what do I need to do?"

"There are a bunch of mean people trying to persuade your oldest brother to make me give up my head collection. Would you talk to him about it, and try to get him to let me keep the heads? Your mother promised me I could keep them, but she's gone back on her word."

"I can try... I'm not sure he'll listen to me."

"I bet he would. You're his youngest and cutest brother."

"Maybe I should just remind Mother about the whistle. I'll try that first."

* * *

Later Langwidere saw Evring running around, happily blowing a new tin whistle.

She was going to have to try something else. His story of the Nome adventure was giving her ideas.


	4. Head Mistress

It was time to fight dirty. Langwidere needed the help of the Wheelers. They were a trouble-making tribe that had wheels instead of hands and feet. They could roll around very swiftly, and they took pleasure in harassing anyone who came into their territory. Langwidere had used them as enforcers during her reign. In exchange, she had given them fancy clothing and access to the Royal Dinner Pail Trees.

To deal with them firmly, she needed a powerful head, and her strongest was number 24, with long dark hair with a large white streak on the left side. She had aquiline features and thin lips. The woman had been caught stealing puppies to make into fur coats. She had a harsh beauty all her own, but Langwidere valued her head for authority purposes more than for its attractiveness.

She got her guards to summon the chief of the Wheelers to her sitting room. The Wheeler arrived not long after, wearing his finest embroidered blue jacket with silver buttons. A yellow straw hat was perched on his head.

"The copper man is not still around here, is he, Your Highness?" asked the Chief Wheeler, looking around nervously.

"No, I was going to keep him as a statue when he wound down, but when the Oz people came they wound him up again and took him away with them," said Langwidere. "But you are here to do something for me."

"What can we do for you, your Highness?" asked the Chief Wheeler.

"I need you to get a message to the Nome King," said Langwidere. "The return of the royal family is causing me great trouble. I want him to take them back."

"The Nome King?" asked the Wheeler. "But he is so far away, over rough terrain. How can we get to him?"

"You figure it out," said Langwidere.

"But there is the Giant With a Hammer on the road," said the Wheeler.

"I heard that the Oz people made it stop," said Langwidere. "But if it has been started up again I'm sure you will be fast enough on your wheels to get past it."

"What can we tell the Nome King to get him to listen to you?"

"Tell him that I will have a chance soon to get back for him a valuable item that was stolen from him by Queen Ozma. He will know what I am talking about."

"This is very difficult," said the Wheeler. "It is too risky for my people to approach the Nomes."

"I don't care. If you don't do this for me I will have your access to the Royal Dinner Pail Trees cut off, and your people will starve. There will be no more pretty garments for you either."

"We can get along without them," said the Wheeler.

"I will also tell the world that you are afraid of the copper man," said Langwidere. "It will damage your fierce reputation and your enemies will come after you."

"Not that! Very well Your Highness," said the Wheeler. "It shall be as you command."

"It must be done quickly," said Langwidere. "Time is running out for me to keep my head collection."


	5. Putting Heads Together

It took a long while, longer than Languidere had wanted to wait, but finally the Wheeler leader told her that an emissary of the Nomes was ready to talk to her.

She waited on the ground floor the old "left wing" where she had once met with Dorothy. It was not used for receptions any more: the new king had his own reception court. It had to be on the ground floor; that was one of the stipulations from the Nomes.

She was wearing her most cunning head: Number Seven, a blue-eyed head with platinum-blond hair worn in short bangs. The former owner was Celina, a cat burglar who had been caught trying to steal Languidere's diamonds.

There was a rumble beneath her feet – Languidere stepped back quickly as a pick-axe broke through the white marble floor. From the hole there emerged a skinny, gray-skinned Nome with glasses. He was flanked by two larger Nomes holding pick-axes.

"How did you do that?" asked Languidere. "And how dare you break up our floor?"

"We Nomes are great tunnelers," said one of the diggers.

"I am Kaliko, personal secretary to His Majesty, King Roquat," said the Nome. "If all goes well with our negotiations we will put the floor back as we leave."

"I am Princess Languidere, the former ruler of Ev in the absence of the royal family. I have been badly mistreated by them and I seek justice."

"I am told you have a proposition for us," said Kaliko. "I hope for your sake it is a good one. Our King is in a foul mood after the loss of his magic belt and he is in no mood to be trifled with."

"Are you threatening me?" asked Languidere coldly.

"Not at all, at the moment," said Kaliko. "I will hear your proposition. I would much rather not have you dragged back through the tunnel to the King for punishment."

Languidere's clever head decided to put her cards on the table rather than provoke them.

"In a week, Ozma is having a birthday party in her palace in the Emerald City of Oz. I am sure to be invited, since they were my guests before they went on a rescue mission into the Kingdom of the Nomes," said Languidere.

The diggers growled at this.

"You may call it a rescue mission, but our King thinks of it as an invasion and thievery of his property, the transformed Queen and her children," said Kaliko.

"I agree with your opinion about that, and I hope to set things right," said Languidere. "While the party is going on I will undertake slip away from the other guests and find the magic belt. I will put in on and wish myself back here. It can do that, isn't that correct?"

"Transportation wishes are one of its strongest features," Kaliko said.

"In exchange for the belt, I expect to be restored to the throne of Ev," said Languidere. "They are trying to take my beautiful head collection, and I cannot abide that."

"And the royal family?" asked Kaliko.

"King Roquat can take them back," said Languidere. "I understand from what the Oz people told me that they cheated at the contest your King set for them. One of their party eavesdropped on a private conversation and learned the colors of the transformed ornaments and bric-a-brac your King had made of his slaves, so that they could win his guessing game."

"Yes, their accursed chicken did that!" said Kaliko. "After that, they stole the King's magic belt."

"Worse than that, that fiendish girl, Dorothy, used the belt to turn some of us into eggs!" said one of the diggers.

All the Nomes shuddered at this. Kaliko frowned.

"Silence, Gouge," said Kaliko. "I'll do the talking here."

"What do you think of my proposal?" asked Languidere.

"I'll have to take it back to the King. It sounds basically acceptable."

"And my restoration to the throne? You will back me?"

"Once you turn over the belt, yes. We have no interest in ruling anything above ground."

"Then we have a deal," said Languidere.

"Yes," said Kaliko.

The Nomes withdrew, leaving no trace in the marble floor as they had promised.

* * *

All Languidere had to do was wait for her invitation from Princess Ozma.

But it seemed she was not going to get one, although everyone else did.

"I'll need a disguise to crash the party," said Languidere to herself. "And I know just where to get one."


End file.
